Keep in Mind

If it's meant to happen then fate will allow it

If it's meant to happen then it will happen

If it's meant to happen then it will happen

If it's meant to happen then it will happen

Mystic

I feel better a lot better

I don't feel heavy my appetite is coming back

 just that general sick feeling is gone

Even if I didn't get my questions answered maybe someday I will
but right now it doesn't matter
right now I'm happy
however it is a strange feeling knowing someone I consider perfect for me is out in the world existing, living, breathing, getting tattoos
Perhaps we jumped the gun and we weren't soupse to happen so quickly
maybe we went soupse to happen at all
I have been feeling a bit mystical lately
the urges to get my cards read with Meli have been increasing >n>
 I hope this feeling last
I think what I'm feeling is hope

R E P R E S E N T

now what?

But..

the idea of giving up makes me sad

how can I give up on something so dear to me?

on something I am willing to leave everything for?

should I stick though this?

I never lingered on the distance

I just always thought about that magical day when I can kiss him when I want 

 when distance wouldn't be something between us

what would suck is that you're honestly just so busy you haven't had the chance to reply but then I don't really believe that all to well

yo no se

yo no se

i keep giving myself mix signals and headaches

UGH

WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?

 sorry ya'll

(i know i can delete the last post but i still want you to call me)

Chasing

Am I trying too hard?

Am I not giving off enough hints that I want you to talk to me?

I just miss you more than anything right now

This could be a bad idea laying all this out on the internet

I don't even know if you read this

It could just be a bunch of random people looking at this..

I wish I knew

I wish I knew what was going on your head

I just want so desperately for you to call me..

I've already call twice these past few days

But your step-mom said you weren't home

I've sent you a message on tumblr

But you haven't replied

I've even sent you a email..

Which you also haven't replied to

Should I just get it through my head that I'm just a crazy ex-girlfriend?

          that maybe you really are done with me?

          that you're happier without me?

          that you're avoiding me?

I don't know..

i guess I should give up

everyone is telling me too

it just seems a little tough for me to take

that the first boy who wanted to marry me would change his mind in 3 months I figure I would linger in you a little longer

marriage is kind of a big deal to me

because in my head when i said i want to marry you it translated to i want to spend the rest of my life with you and I would never want anything else

feelings like this take a bit more time to fade

at least for me it does

I hope you do call

 and say something how you didn't know I called and apologize profusely

 I don't want to chase you

there's no point

I'll just end up sad even more sad..

I really hate that I'm bearing all this on here

but honestly I don't know what else to do but hope that you read this and call 

I need some closure before I can fully move on from this 

Thor

if he existed i probably wouldn't be crying in my bed right now
this thunder storm is getting too intense for me 
:c

Full Moons Make Everyone Crazy

on this full moon

I ask for knowledge

I want to ask what to do

tell me what to do

but

that won't help

I need to grow 

I need to speak up

I feel like these weeks coming up are going to be full of really big decisions

the kinds that are meant to change lives

.....

or maybe the moon is just getting into my head too

I just feel heavy 

so very heavy

 

 

 

The Force

First off The Avengers was the 2nd most beautiful movie I have ever had the privilege of seeing in theaters

Really, I felt like crying from the perfection

It was almost too much

I hope tomorrow goes well because I had to ruin my night by creeping

I feel like it will it is national star wars day after all!

and I would like wish to the only 2 people i feel actually read my blog...

Bambi- may the force be with you I will be waiting for your star wars band concert on the 18th

Diego- may the force be with you I'm still waiting for the okay to talk to you

Paper Bag

I have too many pixels of me and not enough film..
What am I going to do once the computer revolution happens after scientists were dumb enough to make robots that think on their own!
I guess buy more disposable cameras while they still develop film ._.
i truly dread the day film is longer produced looked what happened to the Polaroid

i wonder if my kids would think i'm pretty

 

Merry Happy

I deleted my Facebook
I'm not too sure if that was a coward move of me or not 
but i feel a little better
   nights are difficult
all i can really do is breath and think positive
I forget just how helpful my mother is in these situations
so thanks ma

I call an end to my grieving period

this is easier said then done however

I really want to be there for him..

and I will for as long as he lets me

I'm not gonna listen to sad songs 

and if i cry I'll make it brief

I have to remind myself that I'm stronger than I think

and I don't want to linger on what makes me sad

good luck to myself then 

i know that if we're meant to happen then we'll find each other again and i will keep that in mind as well