The Promise

i think of things, of everything too much
i realize things and then convince myself its nonsense
i end up going in circles trying to remember you
thinking of ways to talk to you
daydreaming what our conversation would be like if we took the bus together 
i remember when we were best friends
when we'd talk about everything
when we'd just sit and watch each other draw
before i walked into art i always took a breath.
i remember feeling sad when you weren't in class but there you were 10 minutes later rushing in saying sorry to Mrs.Rodriguez and smiling at me.
i remember thinking that you were just a big joke.
i remember that day when you were really sad.
i can almost picture it perfectly
your face
the way your eyes looked.
your face when you blanked out your face when you looked at me
the way you looked at prom.
thank you for trying to make the DJ play an 80's song for us

you know i was hoping that maybe you were thinking about me too

i was thinking about you
i was thinking about you since October
i should have never went to that party i should have told via no i should have listened i should have stayed home..
i really didn't want to see you with any other girl just smiling stupidly with your arm around her
i wanted to throw that fucking beer can in your face.
i have to keep reminding myself that i as the one who broke up with you.
i have to keep reminding myself that i shouldn't want to be with someone who didn't want to try to be with me.

you Evaristo Montalvo are my eight grade crush, my senior boyfriend, my prom date, my graduation kiss, my first and also a terrible reminder.

im sorry i punched you in the face i now know how terrified you were of turning me into angel. i should have worked harder on telling you that i wasnt going to her.

-I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of right to say

I know they don't sound the way i plan them to be

but if you'd wait around awhile I'll make you fall for me

I promise, I promise you I will.